So, WHAT are you hungry for ? Loneliness eating…

When you know you have eaten " enough", it is not mealtime, you have not just completed a marathon and burned a million calories..but you feel such an uncontrollable "hunger", you want to tear the wallpaper off of the walls…..PAUSE and ask lovingly, " …what are you hungry FOR ? " Loneliness is the insidious, silent, looming factor to most cases of emotional and compulsive eating. If food was ever used for comfort as a child, or in the past as a "quick fix" for self nurturance and love, then loneliness will trigger that faster than you are even aware it is happening !

Lack of CONNECTION is the most common cause of "loneliness". When you are around people all day but not actually connecting, you might as well be the only person in the room.  You may not have someone who can/will dialogue, listen and validate what is going on for you. Maybe you feel there is nobody who " get's it ", no one who understands life in quite the same way…..

What to do ?

First of all, we all get lonely from time to time. We are social beings and we all need to be heard, validated, empathized with and understood. Sometimes the solution is as easy as calling a friend and talking  ( someone who knows how to connect with you), or making plans ahead of time so that you are not spending all weekend "alone" in your house. Doing something FUN, like a dance class or going to a movie can shift that lonely energy, or heading into nature to connect with a greater spirit can often boost our spirits…

But FIRST- FEEL the loneliness and ALLOW it to be there before you take those action steps.

How ? ….

Throw a PITY PARTY ! Thats right- give yourself time to BE lonely, sad, depressed, angry…..but put a beginning and an end to it ! In other words, when the loneliness creeps up, give yourself 20 minutes to really FEEL it. Do whatever it is you need to do to BE in the loneliness….Cry, yell, sob, throw things…whatever ! Be in it ENTIRELY for the 20 minutes and set a timer ! When that 20 minutes is up, move on. It is over and you are ok- great in fact. Start to schedule PITY PARTIES ahead if time if Loneliness is an ongoing battle. Do it every day, allowing yourself to be IN the Loneliness for an allotted time.


Once we being to give ourselves the time and space to FEEL, often our lonely little "girls" or " boys" ( the inner child) begins to feel heard, validated, and understood. In other words, we have connected with ourselves and we no long need to turn to food as the connecting mechanism.

What do you do to prevent emotional eating over LONELINESS ? I would love to hear below !

If this post served you, please comment and share with someone who can also benefit !


Wellnessfranki durbin